Turpentine Kisses
by Loves Bitch1
Summary: 20 years after Angel fled Sunnydale and his true love; a dream of a foreshaken future brings him back. But things are not as he left them and he must unravel the lies that have been laid over the last 20 years before it's to late.
1. Dreams

Title Dreams   
Author Marie a.k.a. Loves Bitch   
Email Lovesbitch84@yahoo.com   
Feedback Please please please send me feedback   
Distribution You can post this fanfic on your webpage as long as you email me with a link and give me credit :)   
Spoilers End of Season Three   
Content Buffy/Xanderish   
Rating R - note although rated PG in this piece it will grow darker and earn it's R rating.  
Disclaimer I do not own or have any rights to Buffy the Vampier Slayer. I am only a fan   
Summary Angel returns to Sunnydale 20 years after Graduation and finds that nothing is the same.   
NoteThis is Book One in a Series I am currently writing. Also, I would like to thank Caryl mailto:agenie_13@hotmail.com for beta reading this piece! Thank you so much!   
His fist hung inches away from the cold, dark wooden door of Buffy's apartment. Angel once again pulled his hand away and began to walk back down the hall for the fifth time that night. It wasn't like Angel to be afraid , but he was. He had been gone for twenty years, twenty years without a call or a visit or a letter. Buffy would be 38 now, the oldest slayer in history although rumor circulated underground that the council had retried Buffy and a new slayer had been called.   
He stopped in the middle of the hallway and stood still in the silence. Slowly he turned and walked back to her apartment. He ran his fingers over the gold numbers on the door. 730. It had been fairly easy to find where Buffy was living. He had gone to her old house only to find she no longer lived there.   
He had talked to the new owner of the house who had informed him Buffy had moved into a nearby apartment a few weeks after graduation but she didn't know which one. When Angel asked where Joyce had moved the lady grew silent. She finally managed to tell him Joyce had been killed a few weeks after Buffy's leaving. He had spent all of last night going to every apartment building in Sunnydale.   
This was the last apartment building on his list. It was the closet to the graveyard and near to Buffy's old home. He wasn't surprised when the smiling lady behind the counter had given him Buffy's apartment number. He had known deep in his heart all along that this was the most likely spot for her to be. It was for that reason he had chosen it last.   
Now he had no other way to avoid it. He needed to face Buffy, he need to face his past. He closed his eyes and knocked on the door. It took all his self control not to run down the hall and out of Sunnydale. He heard footsteps inside the apartment and the door opened. In front of him stood a young girl, seventeen, eighteen years old.   
"Can I help you?" She asked, power in her voice. He stared at her. She had red, orange hair that hung just past her shoulders. Her eyes where a pale green and she had full lips. She looked ready to leave the house, wearing tight, dark blue jeans, a brown stretch tank top with a blue jean jacket that matched her pants. "Um, hello?' She said waving a hand in front of his face.   
"Adolfina! Who's at the..." Buffy said stepping into the room but fell silent. Despite her age, Buffy still looked young, She wore a old ragged scooby-doo t-shirt with blue pajama pants. She stood in shock at the sight of Angel. The young girl, apparently Adolfina, turned to look at her Buffy.   
"You know this guy?" She questioned.   
"Honey, this is Angel. You remember me telling you about him," Buffy said brushing a stray curl of her blond hair behind her ear.   
"You mean the vampire guy who skipped town?" Adolfina asked, only half caring. She looked back at him, fake smile on her face. "Welcome home."   
"Adolfina!" Buffy scolded, she then realized Angel was still out in the hallway, "Come in Angel." He silently stepped into the room and stared questionably at the two of them. He was about to speak when there was a loud knock on the wall behind him. He spun around to see Spike walk into the room.   
"You're late," Adolfina said, smiling at Spike.   
"Sorry love," he answered, noticing Angel. "Well, isn't this a bloody surprise. Look who's back in town."   
"Come on, let's go," Adolfina said, walking out the door.   
"Where do you think you're going?" Buffy asked.   
"Spike's taking me patrolling so don't worry," Adolfina said with a smile.   
"That's what you said last week when you came home drunk from that party!" Buffy said, anger rising in her voice.   
"Sorry, gotta go. Sacred duty and all," she replied and with that she was gone.   
"I'm so sorry about that Angel, Adolfina can be such a handful," Buffy said sitting down on the sofa. Angel, finally coming out of his shock sat next to her.   
"Is she your...?" Angel said, looking away with pain in his eyes.   
"My daughter?" Buffy finished for him and Angel looked up at her. "Yes, she is."   
"Oh. How old is she?" Angel whispered.   
"She just turned 18. Hopefully she graduates this spring, although with her record we can't be quite sure. She's also the new slayer," Buffy rambled on. Then she paused, the question that had been lingering on her tongue since Angel had walked back into the room rolled off her lips, "Why are you here?"   
"Because," Angel said but he couldn't go on.   
"Buffy, are you coming to bed?" a man Buffy's age asked as he stepped into he room. Angel eyed the man, who was also wearing pajamas. There was something very familiar about him.   
"Angel, you remember Xander," Buffy said standing up and walking to him. "Angel's come to visit us."   
"Why?" Xander asked, sharply and Angel looked away. He had not expected Buffy to stay single all these years, and her daughter had proven that, but he hadn't expected her to be with Xander. Buffy felt the tension building in the room and knew she needed to act quickly.   
"Xander, sweetheart, go back to bed. I'll be there in a minute," Buffy said and kissed Xander's lips softly.   
"Don't be to long," Xander said, a smile on his face. Buffy gazed after him for a second but then returned her attention to Angel.   
"Where are you staying?" Buffy asked.   
"An old crypt," Angel said.   
"Not anymore, you can stay here with us. At least until you find a more suitable place," Buffy said and Angel forced a smile. He looked around her apartment, that was obviously very small. He was sitting in the living room which was connected to a small kitchen/dining room. The only other two rooms in the apartment were a bathroom and a bedroom that Buffy and Xander shared. "I know it's not that big. I mean, Xander and I don't have that much money. Neither one of us went to college," Buffy said, shame in her voice.   
"Buffy, it's fine," Angel assured.   
"No it's not! God, Adolfina doesn't even have her own room! She sleeps on the couch!" Buffy said falling back onto the couch, about to break into tears.   
"I would love to stay here Buffy," Angel said causing her to look up at him, "Just where would I sleep?"   
"On the couch," Buffy said jumping up and walking towards the closet. She retrieved a blanket and pillow and brought them to Angel.   
"And where will Adolfina sleep?" Angel questioned.   
"Adolfina doesn't spend that much time at home anymore. She's always at parties or out slaying," Buffy sighed, hurt in her eyes, "The only time she's at home is first thing in the morning for a little nap before she's off again. Both Xander and I work then..."   
"What's with Spike?" Angel asked, trying to change the subject.   
"None of us expected that. He came back to kill her but things happened," Buffy began but trailed off.   
"You mean they're...together?" Angel asked.   
"No, just friends. At lest that's what Adolfina says," Buffy said but Angel could sense Buffy didn't exactly believe what her daughter had told her. "Well, I need to get some sleep. I have to work in the morning. We can talk tomorrow. Good night."   
"Good night Buffy," Angel whispered as she walked back into her and Xander's room and shut the door behind her.   
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\  
Angel laid on Buffy's couch and stared at the white, cracking ceiling. He closed his eyes and longed for sleep. Anything that would take him away from here. But it had been his dreams that brought him to this place.   
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\  
"Where am I?" Angel asked himself as he found himself on a deserted street in the middle of the night. The only light came from the dim, flickering streetlights located up and down the street, and the full moon shining in the starless sky.   
"Where you are needed," a voice said behind him, and he spun around to see a beautiful lady walking towards him. She stood out in the night wearing a old fashioned, white dress that seemed to glow in the darkness. The bottom flapped elegantly in the non-existing wind while the top clung to her, perfectly highlighting her small waist and full breasts. Her hair was pure white, although she appeared to be no more then twenty, and her skin matched, pale as moonlight. Her lips were full and the lightest shade of red Angel had ever seen, and her eyes were a frozen baby blue. Angel knew just by looking that she wasn't human, although she didn't appear to be a demon.   
"Who are you?" he inquired, unable to look away from her. She walked towards him without making a sound, not even her footsteps could be hear.   
"Shhh," she whispered, placing a finger to Angel's lips. Her finger was like ice but different from his own cold body. For his heart had once beaten, warming his now deceased body. Her body never knew that feeling. "That's not important."   
"What is going on?" Angel asked, brushing her fingers from his lips.   
"You're dreaming," she answered, unfazed by Angel's growing anger. "It's the only way I could contact you."   
"I don't understand," Angel said, frustrated.   
"I don't walk in your world," she said and Angel heard melancholy in her voice. "Not anymore. That's why I need your help."   
"With what?" Angel questioned, his anger fading.   
"She needs your help," she whispered.   
"Who?" he inquired.   
"The wolf with the mark of Luna," she said.   
"What?!" Angel demanded, anger rising in him. Worry crossed the young woman's face as she looked to the sky. Angel followed her gaze to see the sun was about to rise.   
"There's not much time left," she said turning her gaze back to him. "Go to Sunnydale," she said, as the sun broke over the horizon.   
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\  
Angel had awoken then in the small hotel room he had spent the last few weeks in. Angel sighed, remembering how he had dismissed the dream as nothing more than that. Despite the fact he no longer ached for Buffy, she would always have a part of his heart and he didn't want to open an old wound because of a dream. He pushed the illusion from his head, until the next one came.   
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\  
"Why?" Angel heard a voice say as he once again found himself on the deserted street. "Why won't you help me?" Angel turned to see the same beautiful woman.   
"This is just a dream," Angel said, more to himself then her.   
"Of course, I told you that," she said walking towards him. "Why won't you go to her?"   
"How I can help her if you won't tell me who she is?" Angel demanded.   
"Her name can not be spoken here," she whispered.   
"Why not?" Angel questioned. "I'm not running back to Sunnydale to help some wolf. It's not worth the pain it would bring."   
"She's not a wolf," the woman said as she walked down the street. Angel followed her, as she knew he would.   
"But you said I needed to help..." Angel started but then she turned to face him.   
"Everything is not as it seems. That's the first thing you must learn. You have to look closer, deeper, into a persons heart. There you will find her power," she said.   
"She's human?" he interrogated.   
"No," the woman said running her fingers down Angel's cheek causing a chill to run down* his spine. Her touch was not unpleasant and Angel almost lost himself in her eyes. "Nor is a demon, her power is beyond that. Her human body is merely a mask, like your human face hiding the demon inside of you."   
"Is she evil?" he questioned, realizing he knew nothing of this woman in front of him. He stepped away from her and her touch.   
"Are you?" she whispered, appearing to be slightly hurt by Angel's reaction. He opened his mouth to answer but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. His soul made him good, but there was still a demon inside of him that urged to run free. "There's a darkness inside of her, deep and powerful, and if it was ever freed, horrible things would come to be."   
"Is she powerful?" Angel asked, concern entering his mind.   
"Yes," the woman said. "More than you. The only thing that holds her darkness in is her human soul. A gift she was given before being born on Earth as human. But her soul is only so powerful," she said, as her voice faded, and Angel noticed the sun was rising. "Go to her."   
"At least tell me who you are," Angel said, grabbing her wrist and the sensation rushed into him.   
"Another time," she said gently as she faded away and the sun broke over the horizon.   
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\  
Angel had known then that this was more than just some dream, for her touch still lingered on his face and he couldn't forget her pale eyes. He had left for Sunnydale that evening but another dream came to him before he arrived.   
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\  
"Third times a charm," Angel said looking down the street.   
"My powers are weak," the voice said from behind him and Angel didn't need to look to know who it was. "I can only makes these dreams last so long. Once I was powerful but..."   
"But what?" Angel said, turning to face her.   
"I let my heart lead me and it led me here," she whispered, "But we don't have time to talk about that."   
"Then tell me something useful," Angel demanded. "How can I find her if I don't know who she is?"   
"I told you I cannot tell you that. There are rules," the lady cried. "I gave you the pieces, it's up to you to put them together."   
Angel collapsed on a bench and stared at the woman. "Why do you want to help her?"   
"She could do it," the woman whispered, not meeting his eyes.   
"Do what?" Angel asked, upset by how this woman never gave him a straight answer.   
"Bring Armageddon," she softly spoke, and a chill went down Angel's spine as he realized she was telling the truth.   
"How do you know?" Angel inquired as she sat next to him on the bench.   
"I live in the world of dreams, I exist in them, and I see hers," she answered.   
"But they're just dreams," Angel responded.   
"Is this just a dream?" she asked and Angel didn't reply. "This world of dreams is just as real as the world on Earth."   
"You're telling me this is another Earth?" Angel asked.   
"Not exactly," she replied, "It's another dimension of Earth. There, you walk in your body, here, you walk in mind. When you dream, you leave your body and come here."   
"But you said you don't.." Angel started, but the woman smiled and placed a finger to his lips.   
"There are some that leave your world all together because it is to hard and to filled with pain. They stay here, like me," she said. "It's hard at first, I guess. Leaving all your friends and family, but I still see them sometimes."   
"How?" Angel asked softly.   
"When you live in this world you gain powers," she answered. "And one of them is to enter other peoples dreams. You can talk to them there."   
"Then why has no one heard of this world?" he asked.   
"Have you ever had a dream that when you wake up you can't remember it, even though you know you were dreaming?" she asked, and Angel nodded. "Those are the dreams we enter. You can never remember them."   
"But I remember these dreams," Angel said, and she smiled.   
"That's because this is a special dream," she explained. "There are a small number of us who can enter dreams and allow the person to remember them. We just have rules to follow, like no names or exact information."   
"How?" Angel asked.   
"Our human bodies are still alive, in comas," she answerd. "So we are still connected to your world in a way. Just in an endless sleep. But when our bodies die, so does this power and my body is weakening. That's why you must hurry."   
"I still don't understand how you can be so sure she will end the world," Angel said, brushing hair away from her face.   
"Like I said earlier, I've entered her dreams. I see the true her," she explained. "Your dreams are more than just a mixture of thoughts and ideas. When you're in this world you are truly yourself. Your soul and your true self separate."   
"What do you mean, soul and true self?" Angel asked. "Time is running out," she said, looking at the horizon. "When a human is born they are given a soul for a reason. In every human is evil, just like the evil that is found in demons. When you receive your soul it is pure, golden, but as you grow, it is tainted by the evil within you. This doesn't affect most people. The evil isn't powerful enough to cause any real damage. Sometimes it breaks through enough to cause the person to do evil things, like murder, but the soul always stays true in the end."   
"So humans in essence are no better then demons?" Angel asked.   
"No, they just have souls to keep them in check," she whispered. "But she's not human in essence."   
"What does that mean?" Angel asked, as he saw the sun break over the horizon.   
"Her evil is stronger, it will break through. And it will cause the end of the world if it isn't stopped," the woman murmured.   
"How do I stop it?" Angel said.   
"Save her soul," she whispered, as the sun broke over the horizon.   
  
To be Continued 


	2. Adolfina

Title Adolfina   
Author Marie a.k.a. Loves Bitch   
Email Lovesbitch84@yahoo.com   
Feedback Please please please send me feedback   
Distribution You can post this fanfic on your webpage as long as you email me with a link and give me credit :)   
Spoilers End of Season Three   
Content Buffy/Xander, Buffy/Oz, Adolfina/Spike, all other couples at season three finale   
Rating PG   
Disclaimer I do not own or have any rights to Buffy the Vampier Slayer. I am only a fan   
Summary Angel returns to Sunnydale 20 years after Graduation and finds that nothing is the same.   
NoteI would like to thank Caryl for beta reading this piece! Thank you so much! In spanish Luna means Moon.   
Angel awoke the next morning to Buffy rushing around the kitchen. She was wearing a waitress uniform and pinning her hair up into a loose bun. "You're finally awake," she said with a smile, as she grabbed her purse off the small, wooden table. "Xander already left for work and I'm late. There should be some blood in the fridge that Adolfina keeps for Spike."   
  
"All right," Angel replied, sitting up on the couch.   
  
"Adolfina just got home, she's in the shower," Buffy said, as she threw on a light jacket and turned to face Angel. "I'm sorry we can't talk this morning, we will tonight. I promise."   
  
Before Angel had a chance to answer she was gone. Angel rested his head on the back of the couch and sighed. Maybe it had been a mistake coming to Buffy for help. She had her own life now, with a husband and daughter.   
  
Angel heard the bathroom door open and turned to see Adolfina walk out wearing only a bath towel. Angel quickly shot his eyes away as she walked to the closet across the room from him. Adolfina had to smile at Angel's reaction. "You know, this covers more than a bathing suit." she said, opening the closet door   
  
"I know, it's just..." Angel started to say but quickly cut himself off. He shook his head and rose from the couch. He walked silently the few steps to the kitchen and opened the fridge door in search of the blood Buffy had spoken of. Angel was disappointed to see that the fridge only held a variety of soft drinks and milk.   
  
"If you're looking for blood, it's in the vegetable bin," Adolfina said, as she shut the closet door. Angel turned to look at her to see that she was now wearing dark blue pajama pants and a matching tank top. "Sometimes the neighbors stop by."   
  
"Thanks," Angel said, as he pulled a bag of blood out of the vegetable bin. Adolfina opened the cupboard and pulled out two coffee cups. She handed one to Angel and poured herself a cup of coffee left over from Buffy earlier that morning. The two sat down at the small table and a uncomfortable silence filled the room. "You're not going to school today?" Angel asked, trying to break the silence.   
  
Adolfina smirked at him and shook her head. Angel stared at her for a moment and smiled. Adolfina, surprisingly, seemed to be made self conscious by this and crossed her arms. "What?"   
  
"You remind me of someone I used to know," Angel explained, remembering the last months he had spent in Sunnydale.   
  
"You're talking about Faith, aren't you," Adolfina said, seeming almost flattered. Angel nodded, surprised that the former slayer had told her daughter about the rogue slayer. "Don't worry, I won't try to kill you." Adolfina said with a smirk as she sipped her coffee. Angel poured his still packaged blood into the cheap coffee cup. He was about to rise to heat it in the microwave when Adolfina stopped him.   
  
"Let me, you're a guest after all," she said, taking the coffee cup from his hand and walking across the kitchen.   
  
"You didn't treat me like one last night," Angel said with a smile as she placed the cup in the microwave. She turned to face him again, the smirk remaining on her face.   
  
"I was on guard, a slayer can never be to safe," she said leaning against the wall. "We'll be ok as long as you don't tell my mom about my not going to school."   
  
"She doesn't know?" Angel said surprised.   
  
"Not really, I'm sure she has an idea but she doesn't let on. She likes it in the world of denial,"Adolfina answered. "I find school pointless. I mean, I'm the slayer. My destiny's already chosen." A chill went down Angels spine as she spoke those words. The microwave chimed and Adolfina took out Angel's now warm blood. She handed it to him. "Can I trust you?"   
  
Angel sighed, he didn't want to lie to Buffy but something inside of him told him he would need this girls trust in the future. "I won't tell her, but I won't lie if she asks," Angel finally answered. A smile formed across Adolfina's face.   
  
"I can accept that," she said sitting back down at the table. "You're ok."   
  
"Thanks," Angel said, sipping his blood. A picture hanging on the wall caught his attention. It was a picture of a smiling Buffy, Xander and Adolfina that was taken on the beach. Adolfina looked at the picture.   
  
"That was six years ago, the good old days," she said.   
  
"What do you mean?" Angel asked, not taking his eyes away from the picture.   
  
"The days when I still believed everything was perfect and we were a happy family," she said.   
  
"What happened?" Angel asked, looking back to Adolfina.   
  
"Things changed," she whispered, and shook her head, anger and pain in her voice. "Or should I say I got old enough to know the truth."   
  
"The truth about what?" Angel asked, concerned. Adolfina just looked away. "Are you talking about being the slayer?"   
  
"No, they never lied to me about that .When I was real young Mom and Xander sat me down and explained that mom had been the slayer and that it was my destiny to be one also." Silence once again filled the room and Adolfina was visibly uncomfortable talking about her past. "What they lied to me about was worse than if they had hid the slaying from me."   
  
"What did they hide from you?" Angel asked as he watched this once proud girl begin to fall apart in front of him. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.   
  
"Why should I tell you?" Adolfina asked, defensively looking down.   
  
"Because your past is my past," Angel said, and Adolfina looked up him.   
  
"Do you remember your family Angel?" she asked, and he flinched, giving her a unspoken answer. "Did you know your father?" she asked and Angel nodded slightly. "I don't."   
  
"What?" Angel replied in shock. "What about..."   
  
"Xander?" she finished and Angel nodded his head. "I thought he was for the longest time. Mom, Xander and me. Sure, we didn't have a lot of money and some of the kids made fun of me at school, but we were a family so it didn't matter. I never questioned whether or not he was my farther. He'd always been there, I had called him farther and he called me his daughter. There was no reason for doubt."   
  
"How did you find out?" Angel questioned softly.   
  
"On my 16th birthday they sat me down here, at this table. They were acting all serious and told me there was something I needed to know. They didn't even try to sugar coat it. Just blurted out that Xander wasn't my real dad," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. "The last 16 years of my life had been a lie. Every word spoken or moment shared was tainted, wrecked."   
  
"I'm sorry," Angel said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Do you know who your real father is?"   
  
"Yeah, but I can't even hate him," she said with a sigh. "I know kids at school who's dads left and they can hate them. They abandoned them. They willingly left. My real dad doesn't even know I exist. He left before my mom even knew she was pregnant with me."   
  
"I'm sure if he knew about you he..." Angel started, but Adolfina's head snapped up stopping him.   
  
"What, stay? Be a happy family. He left because he didn't love my mom," she snapped.   
  
"You don't know that," Angel said remembering his own past with Buffy. "Sometimes people leave the ones they love because it's better that way."   
  
"She didn't love him either. It was just sex with him, no emotions involved," she jumping up from chair and storming across the room. "You know what the great part is? She was the other woman in the relationship. He had a serious girlfriend that he claimed to love."   
  
"Did Buffy know?" Angel asked, shocked.   
  
"Obviously, after all his girlfriend was her best friend," Adolfina bluntly stated, leaning against the wall, anger rushing through her veins.   
  
"Oz?" Angel said, in a barely audible voice.   
  
"Jackpot. Willow found out about mom and his little fling and freaked. She took off, which I don't blame her for. He took off after her. Nine months later here I am," she bitterly stated. "He never even bothered to call her. That's when Xander came into the picture. He moved in here with Buffy after I was born to help take care of me. One thing lead to another and the rest is history." For the third time that night an eerie silence filled the room and Adolfina ran her hand threw her red hair.   
  
"I need to get some sleep, it was a long night," Adolfina said, more to herself than to Angel. She walked into Buffy's bedroom and shut the door leaving a dazed Angel in the kitchen.   
  
"I'm home," Buffy said, as she walked back into the apartment. Angel switched off the television and stood to greet her as she threw her purse onto the couch violently. "Where's Adolfina? I need to talk to her right now!" Buffy asked sternly.   
  
"She left about an hour ago. She was going to some party with her friends and then slaying with Spike," Angel answered.   
  
"This is great! You know her school called today, she hasn't been to any of her classes in weeks!" Buffy snapped, as she fell onto the couch.   
  
"If I remember correctly, you didn't spend that much time in the classroom" Angel said, and Buffy shot him a look that could kill.   
  
"I want better for her," Buffy said, looking down.   
  
"Every mother does," Angel replied. "Although most mothers don't lie to their children about their father." Buffy's head shot up and look of horror crossed her face.   
  
"She told you about me and Oz?" Buffy whispered.   
  
"Yeah," Angel answered.   
  
"It's not what it sounds like," Buffy pleaded.   
  
"According to Adolfina it was completely physical and Oz doesn't even know she's alive," Angel stated.   
  
"Okay, maybe it is like it sounds," Buffy said, in pain.   
  
"Why? I mean, how could you do that to Willow? It's just not you," Angel said, placing his arm on her shoulder. "At least not the you I know."   
  
"You don't know what it was like after you left!" Buffy said, as she brushed his arm away from her. "Faith died a few weeks later, because of what I did to her! And then Mom was killed. I fell apart, I was just going through the motions. Slay at night, sleep during the day. The gang had fallen apart after you left too. Xander and Cordy had gotten back together and they had went to L.A., Giles went back to England, Willow's time was taken up by college and Oz. He was the only that seemed to have any time for me. He comforted me in my time of need. One thing lead to another and..." Buffy almost broke into tears. "I knew in my heart and soul it was wrong. He was my best frined's boyfriend! And the sick part was that we didn't even love each other. It was sex, pure and simple. I should have stopped it before it started but I needed it. I needed it to numb the pain."   
  
Angel pulled Buffy close and she wept silently for several minutes before continuing her story. "It lasted for about a year. It would have lasted longer if Willow hadn't found out about it. My heart breaks every time I remember her face, my last memory of her. She had skipped class to spend the day with Oz and showed up at his apartment to surprise him and found us in bed together. You could see her heart breaking. She ran from the room in tears and Oz chased after her, leaving me stunned and hurt. All the pain that had been numbed in me broke through to the surface and I cried for hours. I cried for Faith, I cried for Willow, I cried for what I had done to the people that I loved, and I cried for myself and what I had become. I somehow made my way home. The next couple of weeks all blurred together. I remember getting a phone call from Oz saying that Willow had left for LA and he was following her. That was the last I heard from him. The next few weeks were hell for me. I didn't leave my house for anything, the neighbor brought me food and kept the house clean as I slipped further and further into depression. Finally one morning I woke up and I couldn't take it anymore. I went to the bathroom and pulled the painkillers out of the cupboard," Buffy whispered.   
  
"Buffy, you didn't..." Angel said, concern and self-hatred in his voice. He had no idea what was happening in Buffy's life. She was in hell while he had been feeling sorry for himself. He should have been there for Buffy.   
  
"No, I almost did. I was about to pop the pills when a sickening feeling rushed threw my body. Morning sickness saved my life,"she whispered, with a half smile. "After that I had something to live for. I waited for weeks for Oz to call. I was so sure he would contact me. I mean, I knew what we had couldn't be considered a relationship but we had something. But he never called and I realized after two months that he was never going to."   
  
"How did Xander come into all of this?" Angel asked softly.   
  
"I didn't know what to do. I was alone. I thought of Giles but I knew he would disappointed. So I called up Xander and Cordy. I told them what had happened and Xander rushed back to Sunnydale." Buffy explained.   
  
"What about Cordy?" Angel inquired.   
  
"She stayed in LA. Their relationship ended when he left," Buffy said, guilt lacing her voice. "She realized then that I would always come first. That he would always love me more than he could ever love her. She made a clean break with him. She ended up marrying some guy named Gunn she meet in LA."   
  
"Adolfina told me that Xander moved in before the two of you were together," Angel said.   
  
"I was out of the money my mother had left for me in her will. I was forced to sell my house, the house my mother had left me. That's when Xander showed up. Neither one of had us had any money and we hadn't gone to college so our job options were limited. I used the money from the house to rent out this apartment for the first few months. Xander and I could just afford it along with groceries with our paychecks. We've lived here ever since," Buffy explained. "Over the next few months of my pregnancy Xander was there for me. He took care of me and helped pull me out of depression. And I fell in love with him."   
  
"When did the two of you get married?" Angel whispered, needing to know more about his former lovers past.   
  
"When I was almost nine months pregnant. We confessed our love for each other and then we drove to Los Vegas," Buffy said, smiling at the memory. "I never pictured my wedding being in a cheap, Las Vegas Chapel where our witnesses were two complete strangers we had pulled off the street. But in it's own way, it was perfect."   
  
"Two weeks later Adolfina was born. We never meant to lie to her about her father. There just never seemed to be a right time to tell her. Xander had been there for her all her life, he had raised her, he loved her as if she was her own daughter, and we were a happy family together. I didn't want to ruin that. The only thing her real father had given her was her name and power," Buffy explained.   
  
"What do you mean? I thought Oz didn't know about her," Angel asked, confused.   
  
"He doesn't. But I remembered a few weeks before they left, Willow, Oz and I were having dinner together. Willow was talking about having children once she got out of college and we started discussing what we would name our first born. Oz had said that he wanted his first daughter to be named Adolfina. I kept his wish, even if he never knows about it," Buffy explained.   
  
"But what do you mean about him giving her power?" Angel asked. "Is she a werewolf?"   
  
"No," Buffy said with a half laugh. "Daughter of a slayer and werewolf. Needless to say she has strong power rushing through those veins and it shows in the way she battles. Sometimes it's like she's not even human. The animal instincts take over and she fights with such passion. Her name suits her."   
  
"What do you mean?" Angel asked, as Buffy rose from the couch and walked into the kitchen.   
  
"Her name, it means wolf," Buffy explained.   
  
//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\   
  
Angel awoke the next morning to a loud crash from across the room. Angel jumped from the couch ready to fight.   
  
"Ow," A young girl's voice said, in a mixture of pain and laughter. Angel reached over and switched on the light. There, laying in the middle of the floor, was Adolfina. She sat up and rubbed her head. Her clothes were tattered and dirty. She smelled of smoke and alcohol and a glow surrounded her.   
  
"My head hurts," she mumbled, proving Angel's fear that she was drunk. He knelt in front of her and offered her his hand.   
  
"Here," he said, as he pulled her up. She almost collapsed to the floor before Angel caught her again. He was surprised she had made it as far as the apartment building, let alone the up the stairways. He pulled her easily over to the couch and laid her down. "I'll get you some coffee."   
  
"I'll be fine," she mumbled again, about to fall asleep. Angel slapped her face softly, trying to keep her awake.   
  
"You have to keep talking, I don't want you to pass out on me," he said, as he walked across the room to make her some coffee.   
  
"I won't pass out," she said with a yawn. "Just let me sleep for a little bit."   
  
"No sleeping," Angel said, pouring her a cup of coffee. "Tell me about your night."   
  
"The usual," she said, as Angel sat on the couch and pulled her into a sitting position. He handed her the cup of coffee and she sipped it. "My head's going to hurt in the morning" she complained.   
  
"It is morning," Angel corrected.   
  
"Oh yeah," Adolfina said, laughing, easily amused in her current state. "What were we talking about again?"   
  
"What you did tonight," Angel said.   
  
"Oh yeah," she laughed. "Well, I went to this party with my friend May. Well, if you can call that slut my friend but anyways, I didn't drink to much. Maybe one, two beers at most. The party sucked so I left early for patrol. I met up with Spike and we dusted a few a vampires. Then we headed back to his place and knocked back a few."   
  
"You went back to Spikes crypt to get drunk?" Angel asked, upset with his childe.   
  
"And other things..." Adolfina said, suggestively licking her lips. Angel's anger grew when he realized what she meant, and he jumped from the couch.   
  
"Don't be upset with him," she said, as if she could read his mind. "He didn't get me drunk just to screw me." Angel was taken aback but her blunt comment, and opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted. "It's not like we haven't done this before. It's been going on for awhile. Almost ever since he came to Sunnydale."   
  
"Adolfina, do you even know half the stuff your mom went through because of her casual sex?!" Angel asked, upset.   
  
"Chillout, you're sounding like Xander. You're not my father and it's not casual sex," Adolfina said.   
  
"You're telling me you're in a relationship with Spike?" Angel asked, in shock.   
  
"Score one for Angel. That's the smartest thing you've said all night," Adolfina said, laughing. "Just don't tell mom. She has issues with the whole slayer/vampire dating thing. Mostly because of you."   
  
"He came back to Sunnydale to kill you!" Angel argued.   
  
"And I intended to kill him at first. Things change," she said, sitting the coffee on the table. "Can you help me take this jacket off. My motor-skills don't seem to be working right now," Adolfina said, laughing. Angel sighed and walked over to her. He removed her jacket and horror filled his body. Located on the base of her neck was a tattoo. A tattoo of a beautiful full moon. The sign of Luna.   



End file.
